很多人会这么说，我这一辈子没有一个真心的朋友。实际这个真心是啥呢？要是有个共同愿望就能找到真心，如果没有个共同的愿望，大多数时候就是为了满足自我的个性，满足自己的愿望，这就很难找到知己，找到真心朋友。

Many people would say that they dont have a true friend all their lives. But what does true mean there? If two people can find a common goal then they can be true friends. Without common goals people tend to try to satisfy their own wants, and so cant find true friend.

个性越强的人，实际越不好打交道。强人面前很难有朋友，不光难有朋友，仇人还多，怨恨的人也多。因为啥呢？强人与人相处中，经常会强制自己的朋友，或者强制自己的伴侣，那这个强制久了，人就会逆反、崩溃。

The stronger someones personality, the harder it is to get along with others. And they not only find it difficult to make friends but they also increasingly inspire resentment and hatred. Why? Because the willful ones tend to impose their will upon others. And overtime the victims will rebel or breakdown.

如果我们相处，有个共同信守的法则和愿望，就不一样了。我们依共同的愿来交流、来言说、来思维、来作为，有共同的方向，就很容易协调起来。像之前我们学习过尊重，协商，约定，守护的八字诀，通过一个共同的法则与愿望的实践，这样就很容易有真心。依愿行就是真心。不依这个愿，不按约定的法则行，去找真心就变得十分困难。

But if we have a common wish and principle when we get along, this would be another story: we can communicate, speak to each other, think and act through the common wish,and we can have the same direction. We can easily be harmonized. Just like the four words knack saying respect, negotiation, agreement and observance， we can obtain a sincere heart through this common principle and the practice of a common wish, and by comforting to the wishes that benefit others will get you a sincere heart. If we disobey and break the rules, it will be really hard for us to find a true heart.

像现在许多女性寻求所谓的真爱，非常难！真爱的标准不好定义它，每个人的个性化的要求、想法，特别不容易找到对称性，所以很多人一生孜孜不倦地追求真爱，却总是落实不了。有时，自己认为发现一个真爱，就扑着真爱去了，最终还是失望。因为啥呢？共同点找不到。自身的完美意识越强，越难找到对称性，就会导致自我的伤害。

Today, many women are looking for true love， and are finding it quite difficult. True love is difficult to define, and everybodys requirements and ideas are so different which makes finding a match is not an easy task. Thus many people spend their whole lives failing to find true love. Yet they also rush in when they think they found a hint of it, and often end up disappointed. Why is this? Because they couldnt find common ground. The more we look for the perfect match, the harder it is to get satisfied with a partner and the more likely events will lead to disappointment and suffering.

那我们要是有一个愿望，依一个法则去观察、了解、作为，或者说有个约定的东西，我们去实践不管发生什么，我们就往一个约定上去靠、去回归、去支持，违背了就调整它这个真心，就容易表现出来。什么真心呢？心灵安稳，守护次序，怎么说就怎么做，言行合一。这样在婚姻关系、朋友关系中，知己、知音就特别多，也特别健康、顺心，因为对称性的机会多。

However, if we embrace a common wish and observe, understand and act accordingly, no matter what will come, we aim for the same direction of the appointment, and to flyback, to support and to adjust when the heart is strayed. The true heart can be shown. What kind of heart? Peaceful mind, staying at due position, walking the talk and deeds matching the words, then we can get many true friends and sincere partners in life and marriage. That way, we can also be healthy and comfortable because there stands a symmetry in our relationships.

来自慈法法师的『生命之光 阳光早餐』

『Light of LifeSunshine Breakfast』

2018年7月由Robin整理

原标题：阳光早餐 | 依愿得真心

文章转自微信公众号：菩提眼