如果有人在需要帮助的时候，我们凭借一时的情绪，没有冷静、长久地去审视自己的作为能力，这就不仅帮不了对方，反而会难及自己。那我们如何把这颗善心运用的得当，真正的能做到自利利他呢？

When helping those in need with impulsive passion, without reflecting upon our abilities, we may not only fail to help, but also embarrass ourselves. How can we be kind in a good way, benefiting both ourselves and others?

一时的热心，会有激情、动力，但更多的是短期效应，很难持续，有时候甚至会给对方带来压力和伤害。一个人需要帮助时一般是处于一种被动的状态，容易暴露出他弱势、窘况的一面。这个点如果处理不好，待对方恢复过来，会有颠覆的可能性。所以在帮助别人的时候，尽量不去夺取别人的主体意识及作为空间，可以给予方法、信心、祝福等力所能及的支持。长久、冷静地去看，一时的热心就会如实下来。

Passion has its power but only lasts a short while. Sometimes it may bring pressure and harm to others. When someone needs help, they are in a passive status and expose weaknesses or embarrassment easily. If that is not well noted, more harm than good may be achieved when the person gain himself. Thus, whenever you help others, try not to deprive them of their independence or space but rather, provide support by offering blessing, confidence and advice in appropriate ways.This type of passion will be enduring.

像父母对孩子的教育，重要的是把位置定好在孩子成长的过程中，孩子一定是主体，父母是个辅助者，不夺取孩子主动选择与承担责任的权利与机会。不期待、不逼迫，耐心地给予健康的引导，支持孩子有独立的作为的空间，才是真正对孩子的尊重。

Like the parents education of their children, the key is to position yourself and your child with awareness and sensitivity. In the process of childrens growth, children are the main body and parents the supporters.They should not deprive children of the rights and opportunities of making choices or being responsible. Real respect for children is to give them independent space so that they can make their own choices under parents patient and supportive direction without expectation.

现在很多的家庭恰恰相反，一定要让孩子听话其实大部分都是打着为对方好的理由来满足自我的需要。父母意识不到，一开始的善心在作为的过程中不知不觉已变成了要求，久而久之孩子就会产生对抗与叛逆，父母则会感到莫名的委屈。

Many families are doing just the opposite. Parents force their children to be obedient. Actually, they are fulfilling their own needs in the guise of helping or loving their children. They are not aware of the fact that their original kindness turns into obligations as time goes by. So children will become rebellious and resentful of their help and parents may feel wronged.

帮助一个人，关键是守护无染。用无所得的心去做力所能及的事，即是善用善心。

The key to help others is to help while keeping our heart away from attachment. If you can help others while knowing the whole matter to be as illusory as a dream, you are being kind in a good way.

来自慈法法师的『生命之光 阳光早餐』

From:『Light of Life Sunshine Breakfast』

原标题：阳光早餐 | 善用善心

转自微信公众号：菩提眼