我们生活中的烦恼、仇恨、赌气、颠覆都来自委屈。委屈是重祸之源，是所有烦恼的代表。委屈是个大问题，它具有很大的隐蔽性，平时不容易察觉到，但它是所有烦恼的引爆器。

Worries, hatred, pique, subversion, etc., what confront us in our life, all come from grievance. Grievance is the source of all the misfortunes, and can represent all the worries, and therefore is a big problem. It is invisible for it usually underlies something, but it is a fuse that may detonate all the worries.

所有不健康的作为都来自委屈。像习惯上的不适应、物质上的不满足、人与人之间的误解与对立、不能承担的责任等等，太多太多的原因都会造成委屈，我们一定要有方法去面对它、解决它。

All the unhealthy acts come from it, like that one cannot adapt himself habitually to something, or cannot be satisfied materially, or like the misunderstanding or opposition between people, or the failure to take responsibilities, etc. So a method is a must to deal with it and to solve it.

我们可以从亲人、朋友、同事、孩子等各个角度去审视委屈。比如，孩子在学校经常被人欺负，遭受极大的委屈，原因是在家里对父母指手画脚惯了，经常要求这要求那，养成了习惯，对自己的言行举止不能够负起责任。在亲人面前还好，一旦把这些习惯带到学校，就很容易遭到别人的欺负，甚至是集体的欺负，这样的孩子基本上会变得越来越委屈。所以，要让孩子学会自强，主动帮助别人，尊重、爱护别人，而不是自私，让别人这样、那样。从小培养孩子独立作为，学会对自己的作为承担责任。

We can observe it from many different perspectives, like the relation between family members, friends, colleagues or children, etc. For example, a child is often bullied at school and suffers enormous grievance. The reason is that he has developed the habit of ordering others about, often asking for this and that, and being irresponsible for his acts and words. It is acceptable among family members, but once he keeps this habit at school, he is very likely to be bullied by others or even by the whole class, with his grievance accumulated more and more. So we should educate our children to be independent, to be ready to help others and to respect others instead of being selfish or ill-mannered. Teach our children, from the time when they are very young, to live an independent life, and to learn to take responsibilities for what they have done.

父母一定不要以对孩子好为理由，什么事都给孩子做完了，剥夺了孩子成长、作为的机会，这是对孩子最大的不尊重。越对孩子好，孩子就会对这个好记忆深刻，一旦有个不好就会有极大的落差，会导致断崖式的不满、叛逆等作为。所谓对孩子好，结果其实是害了孩子，大人和孩子都会感到委屈。

Parents mustnt do everything for children under the disguise of doing good to them. Otherwise you are actually depriving your children of the opportunity to grow up by themselves. It is the most disrespect attitude towards your children. The more you do good to your children (they will be favorably impressed by it as for sure), the bigger the gap will be when someone do bad to them. Accordingly, their dissatisfaction and rebellion can be as drastic as falling off a cliff. The so-called doing good to children is actually doing bad to them. As a result, both parents and children will suffer the grievance.

同样，夫妻、朋友、同事相处久了，总会有莫名其妙的不舒服、别扭等等。一点点的积累之后，委屈、不满就会爆发出来。这些委屈的理由十分多，有习惯性的、环境影响的、记忆性的、知识性的，包括一个正见都会带来烦恼拿个正见去套别人，强化自己是正确的，认为别人怎么不正见，以至于心中不平，就会有委屈。

The same applies to the relationship between a couple, friends or colleagues, etc. After long time of accompany, you may always feel somewhat uncomfortable, or uneasy, etc.. Little by little, it accumulates into grievances till your dissatisfaction breaks out one day. Many things account for the grievances: habit, environment, memory, knowledge, or even right view. When you judge others from your personalright view, insisting that you are right and wondering why they dont follow your right view, such dissatisfaction will lead to grievance.

委屈的积累会使小问题变成大问题，大问题会导致破坏性、颠覆性的作为。像一个人平时对人表现得很谦让，但内心又不够充盈，常给自己带来压力或负担，因不清晰这些作为与内心不符的虚伪性。开始会感觉有说不清楚的别扭，后来慢慢就会有压抑、不满、委屈，一旦积累成多，就会有破坏性或者颠覆性的作为发生，所以我们要引起重视与警觉。

With the accumulation of grievance, a minor problem will turn out to be a big problem, which will lead to destructive or subversive acts. For example, someone who seems to be very modest but without inner enrichment, often bring pressure and burden to himself. He is unclear about his hypocrisy, i.e., the inconsistency between his acts and his heart. At first, he may feel somewhat uncomfortable, and then little by little, he may feel pressured, dissatisfied and wronged. Once these feelings accumulate to some extend, destructive or subversive acts will occur. So we should pay attention to and be alert to it.

学会调整 Learn to adjust.

首先要学会调整。把破坏性、颠覆性的事情调整为大问题，再把大问题调整成小问题或者没问题。真诚、如实很重要，遇到别扭、不舒服，就主动问问自己：是不是自己的作为不如实了，超出了自己能承担的范围了？在心地上可以发心为他人，但实际作为上要先解决自己的问题。自己真是充盈了，有足够的空间了，再去根据别人的需要，给人以帮助或支持；不以对别人好来为难自己，造成负累、委屈做自己愿意做并能承担的事，无怨无悔，不给自己与他人压力。

Firstly, we should learn to adjust, like adjusting destructive or subversive problems to be big ones, and big ones to be minor ones or none. Sincere and authentic attitude is important at this moment. When we feel uncomfortable or uneasy, ask ourselves first if what we try to achieve is not what we are truly willing to do, or beyond our abilities.You can make a wish to help others from your heart，but in terms of taking action, you should solve your own problems first. Only when your heart is rich and free enough to have space for others, you can offer help or support to others according to their need. Dont have your kindness press yourself too hard, otherwise you will get burdened or wronged. Do what you are willing to and able to do, with nothing to be complained of or regretted. Impose no pressure on others as well as on yourself.

不猜测别人 Dont guess others thoughts.

不猜测别人。人与人之间的思想意识差别很大，我们很难通过猜测别人的需求去满足他人。要想让别人满足自己，或者自己去满足别人，或者平衡每个人的需要，都太难了只有自己才能满足自己。自己满足了，有空间了，才能轻松、喜悦地为他人做力所能及的事情，这样可以远离别扭、不满与委屈。

Dont guess others thoughts, for minds are dramatically different among inpiduals and it is difficult for us to satisfy others need by guessing. Its too difficult to have others satisfy yourself or have yourself satisfy others, and its also difficult to balance different inpiduals need. Only you can satisfy yourself. Only when you are satisfied, will you have the leeway to do something for others while feeling easy and happy. Thus you can distance yourself from discomfort, dissatisfaction and grievance.

有清晰的愿望 Your wish is clear.

每个生命都会有委屈，唯有清晰的愿望才能真正彻底地解决委屈。愿望清晰了心就明亮了，心明亮了就可以照耀委屈的黑暗，识破委屈的本质。愿望是顺本质而立的，是顺性的，随顺圆满清净的、本质的作用力就能彻底处理委屈的现象这样一个常常伴随我们生命的、特别粘着的问题。

Each inpidual life will suffer from grievance, and only a clear wish can solve it thoroughly. When your wish is clear, your heart is bright and a bright heart can shine on the darkness brought by the grievance so as to see through the grievance and attain its essence. A wish is made by following the essence,or the common nature. By following the force of perfect and pure essence, we can thoroughly solve problems like grievance, a sticky problem often following us in our life.

让我们尝试着用心愿去照耀委屈，解决委屈因为心愿是明确的，有璀璨的光明。心愿是彻底的，就有圆满的作用力，心愿是顺性的，就有清净的洗礼，这些作用力会在各个角度中展现出来。让愿望作主，令愿望发光，不要让委屈淹没了自己的愿望，要不然委屈会遍布整个生活的细节。

We should try to solve grievance, by having our wish shine on it, for our wish is clear and bright. Our wish is thorough, so it has the perfect force. Our wish follows the common nature, so it has purifying effect. Such force can play its role in every aspect of life. Have your wish to lead and shine. Dont have your grievance overwhelm your wish, otherwise your grievance will spread over every corner of your whole life.

来自慈法法师的『生命之光 阳光早餐』

The Light of Life Sunshine Breakfast

原标题：委屈的危害 [ 中英对照 ]

文章转自微信公众号：菩提眼